Sanobar jaan... Through all these months of knowing you, through our online interactions and your writings and sharing and texting, you've continued to be a source of inspiration, essentially because of the truth in your words. Everyday, I challenge myself to step closer to my own authenticity and I think of you, to draw from your courage. I've always felt angry at the way most Muslims have been introduced to their faith, robbing them of the most beautiful Connection they could have experienced instead. For generations we have been traumatized by a society that refuses to 'ponder' and 'question' and instead rests on the crutch of ignorance.
When my children were younger, I began teaching them about the beauty of Islam minus the fear. Soon the neighbourhood Muslims kids joined in and within a year I was running a weekly class that focused on fun learning, spiritual love, community building and true connection. The classes were so popular that they ran for 8 years till 2020. At its peak, we had over 45 children enrolled. Within these 8 years we held parenting workshops, community family picnics, the most amazing performances by the children, charity drives, and so much more. The more we approached each other with love and non-judgement, the closer we all became. So many of us discovered our own spirituality through these connections. When there is no shame in being yourself, you are given the permission and freedom to walk on your own path towards truth.
Your powerful essay reminded me of those times and how important it is for us to choose our authentic selves over the easier/lazier option of conformity. Thank you, Sanobar, for always speaking and writing from your heart.
Sumira, I welled up reading your comment. I never saw myself as someone making any positive impact on others because, you know, history. I backtalked as a kid, I pushed, I reasoned, I called on the society's double standards garbed in the name of religion and culture. And you know what girls like that do to our people. We scare them so they make every effort to 'tame' us. Our mothers get scared in turn of the wrath in store for girls like me, so they try to shut you up too. All of this is done in the name of love and protection.
You, Sumira, shattered the stereotypes I held as well (based on my negative experience with our women in India). You exude calm and compassion even across the screen. Thank you for being the teacher we all wanted! I'm not surprised at the change you brought about. When women in my community approached me to take their little tots under my wing for a Ramadan workshop, I was stunned! I insisted I would assist my other, more learned and practicing Muslim friend who took the grown-up kids for that season. But the tots loved me too! It was such a heartening experience to watch how gentle love can draw kids to faith as opposed to scaring the daylights out of them with fearmongering. Thank you, as always, for reading me non-judgementally. I'm always so anxious after posting pieces like this one, worried if I may have offended someone. Couldn't sleep well last night lol
Sacred it is. Can you imagine how that makes me feel about you guys?! Writing with you and having been read by you, has saved me, Roshni. Then reading comments like 'chashm-e-baddoor' fills me with excitement lol Zehnaseeb, yaara!
I'll keep telling myself that whenever I doubt my craft! Not that we don't need to keep improving, but, for someone who'd always complain about the lack of craft in her writing, it helps to receive affirmation from fellow writers like Sana (whose craft makes me drool!) and from my teachers like you, Raju Tai! Thank YOU for being strongly instrumental in helping me connect to my senses - to my being, and not feel ashamed by it.
🤯 🤯 🤯 Sanobar, it’s befitting that I read this at fajr! You have voiced not just for me, but I am sure for many other Muslim women who are wrestling and making their way through this very universal (don’t mean to generalise but maybe it’s a more south Asian thing?!) problem… that of teaching us about our beautiful, beautiful faith through fear and not love, fear that is doused in patriarchy and actually robbing us of the joy of finding peace through submission which Islam literally means! There’s SO MUCH I want to say about this topic, but I’ll gather my thoughts, read and REREAD you so I can articulate it. But for now, I am just so excited and grateful that I am finding my way through it with so many newer resources (and brave writing like yours) that literally tackle, question and invite me to discovery of our faith via love and appreciation and not fear.
PS: the obstacle is the path, the mess is the way. One of the logical, practical religious teachers told me, If Allah wanted us to be perfect, He’d have designed us to be angels not human. Being flawed and forgetful comes with being human, questioning things and finding out answers through them is the only way we are meant to be!
Thank you, yet again, for writing your truth and lighting the way for others! Lots of love.
PPS: your craft is exponentially growing with each post. Your transition as a writer and a truth seeker is the thing that’s blowing my brain and making me jump with excitement! How wonderful and joyous and inspiring it is to witness it, my chilgoza! 🤗
Sana, I deliberately chose to come last to your comment. Some souls just draw you to them without sharing any previous experience, or any other relationship. You and your stories have that effect on me. I know you without ever knowing you...you know what I mean? And, I see myself in your stories, in your struggles, in your honesty, in your determination to find your ground and honour your truth - even though our trajectories have been so different. How does that happen?! lol
Writing on its own is an act of truth seeking. That's how its been for me at least.
Thank you so much for this gift: the obstacle is the path, the mess is the way. I've always wondered why can't people leave perfection and judgment to the Almighty?! Whoever gave them the authority to play God to us?!
Oh, and for you to praise my craft?! Woman! You will never know what that means to me!
I remember speaking about our kind of Muslim women, Farah when we met - jo na idhar ki hain na udhar ki. Take your time, no rush. I, myself had to take time to manage my emotions with the overwhelming flow of compassion and solidarity shown here. Then there's the 'artist's' fear of being seen lol So many contradictory emotions. Lets take our time. Thank you for being there, which I know you are <3
"Besides, is there any act more pleasant to the Almighty than sheer honesty?" - Truly! Despite the state of the world, I do sincerely hope we can all be allowed a space where we can be vulnerable and yet fully accepted, it's the most powerful place to be in. And writing is, and will hopefully continue to be that place for so many of us. Powerful, beautiful read - thank you so much for sharing!
“I do sincerely hope we can all be allowed a space where we can be vulnerable and yet fully accepted, it's the most powerful place to be in.” Amen, sis!
Thank you, Aradhana for stopping by and for showing love :)
This was a hard essay for me to read. The questions you had are similar to the ones I did. Yours brought you closer to your god, mine took me away from mine. I don't think most of the religious people I know understand religion. For most of them, it's blind adherence to rituals. To question is to sin.
Kudos to you for being able to articulate your stance without confrontation. It's something I have failed at.
I love your writing and look forward to each of your posts.
Oh Vinay. Thank you. Please know...I'm 44. I did not find spirituality without first turning away from my faith. So-called gatekeepers of religion tend to act like Gods themselves. It's sickening and repulsive tbh with you. Religion and faith are such private affairs. Such private journeys that individuals should take at their own pace. Thank you for expressing what you did. We're in this together!
Powerful writing to Reclaim your space and identity. This has triggered many thoughts, Sanobar. I will re-read this again to grasp the power that courses through it.
Thank you, Sanket. Like quite a few of my essays, this one was also written in a heightened state of emotion - usually a 'rock bottom' mode for me. I grew up believing one shouldn't 'react'/respond when being emotional. And yet, every piece I've written in an emotional state has resonated with other fellow writers at such deep levels! I keep wondering why do they tell us to not be emotional when everyone else needs it too :/ Thank you for showing solidarity ❤️
Uff Sanobar, that was so powerful and I agree with so many things you say, that “ na idhar ka, na udhar ka”, you mentioned, that is kind of universal, I say it all the time too.
Thank you for being so brave and honest, it’s not easy❤️
Thank you, Supriya. It really isn't easy. My stomach churns everytime I get notified of a comment, worrying over what's in store for me lol so, every supportive remark/feedback helps! Thank you, women across faiths face the same issues in some form or the other :/
This feels like homecoming, I totally relate to every word you said. Every time I have asked someone if God is so vindictive that he will get back at you for not praying, I have been shut down with stares, verbal abuses and cold shoulders. I have learnt to keep my opinions to myself, opening up only when I am comfortable.
Thank you, Aditi, for saying that. I knew women across faiths continue to face similar resistance. Have you heard of the page: https://www.instagram.com/girlgodbooks/
It can get radical and, despite agreeing with many of their posts, I'm shy and nervous to like them and expose my agreement. I guess it gets radical because when you finally wake to years of generational suppression, your voice of protest will sometimes come out as a gentle sermon, but at many other times, it will come out violently like a roar.
Girl God Books challenges the idea of religion being 'male'. It's funny that even in monotheistic faiths, God is genderless, and yet, we shudder even addressing God as 'she'. Patriarchy has hijacked faiths too which is so reflective in the horrible state of worldly affairs we are witnessing now - children are being tortured, women have witnessed the suffering since Eve, our Mother Earth is revolting, animals are being made homeless....only to keep a bunch of juvenile male adults in 'power'.
Its' time we take control of our narrative, our kids, our Mother Earth. One story at a time. Sending you love and cheering you for your voice <3 Thank you for your solidarity!
There are so many pages with so much wonderful content that I am super afraid to like or comment on because of the atmosphere of fear all around. I am ashamed that I’m so scared but till I find the courage to be able to take a stand I just hold my views close to my heart, voicing them sparingly.
Oh Aditi. Sending you hugs. I can imagine. But, have heart. Resistance usually begins from within. One silent prayer at a time. This is our tribe. This is where we cheer our baby steps. Yours is the first such comment from someone of another faith openly expressing how they found my piece relatable. If that's not strength, then what is?! I posted this piece everywhere, except for FB where I've added the whole world. We do what works for us.
There are so many essays sprouting in my head just from reading the comment thread here lol
Sanobar jaan... Through all these months of knowing you, through our online interactions and your writings and sharing and texting, you've continued to be a source of inspiration, essentially because of the truth in your words. Everyday, I challenge myself to step closer to my own authenticity and I think of you, to draw from your courage. I've always felt angry at the way most Muslims have been introduced to their faith, robbing them of the most beautiful Connection they could have experienced instead. For generations we have been traumatized by a society that refuses to 'ponder' and 'question' and instead rests on the crutch of ignorance.
When my children were younger, I began teaching them about the beauty of Islam minus the fear. Soon the neighbourhood Muslims kids joined in and within a year I was running a weekly class that focused on fun learning, spiritual love, community building and true connection. The classes were so popular that they ran for 8 years till 2020. At its peak, we had over 45 children enrolled. Within these 8 years we held parenting workshops, community family picnics, the most amazing performances by the children, charity drives, and so much more. The more we approached each other with love and non-judgement, the closer we all became. So many of us discovered our own spirituality through these connections. When there is no shame in being yourself, you are given the permission and freedom to walk on your own path towards truth.
Your powerful essay reminded me of those times and how important it is for us to choose our authentic selves over the easier/lazier option of conformity. Thank you, Sanobar, for always speaking and writing from your heart.
Sumira, I welled up reading your comment. I never saw myself as someone making any positive impact on others because, you know, history. I backtalked as a kid, I pushed, I reasoned, I called on the society's double standards garbed in the name of religion and culture. And you know what girls like that do to our people. We scare them so they make every effort to 'tame' us. Our mothers get scared in turn of the wrath in store for girls like me, so they try to shut you up too. All of this is done in the name of love and protection.
You, Sumira, shattered the stereotypes I held as well (based on my negative experience with our women in India). You exude calm and compassion even across the screen. Thank you for being the teacher we all wanted! I'm not surprised at the change you brought about. When women in my community approached me to take their little tots under my wing for a Ramadan workshop, I was stunned! I insisted I would assist my other, more learned and practicing Muslim friend who took the grown-up kids for that season. But the tots loved me too! It was such a heartening experience to watch how gentle love can draw kids to faith as opposed to scaring the daylights out of them with fearmongering. Thank you, as always, for reading me non-judgementally. I'm always so anxious after posting pieces like this one, worried if I may have offended someone. Couldn't sleep well last night lol
Sanobar...i remember you saying the writing room was sacred and being completely gobsmacked!
I was flowing through this essay and stopping at the ports you wanted me to and witnessing such amazing writing unfold!
Chashm-e-badoor !
Sacred it is. Can you imagine how that makes me feel about you guys?! Writing with you and having been read by you, has saved me, Roshni. Then reading comments like 'chashm-e-baddoor' fills me with excitement lol Zehnaseeb, yaara!
So much ease, beauty and love flowing throughout this essay 💙 Thank you Sanobar, this is a sacred piece of writing.
Wow! Thank you. Thank you, tah-e-dil se!
:))
AMAZED and INSPIRED and MOVED… and in agreement with Sana.. the craft is growing.. of both your being and your writing.. 💘💘💘
I'll keep telling myself that whenever I doubt my craft! Not that we don't need to keep improving, but, for someone who'd always complain about the lack of craft in her writing, it helps to receive affirmation from fellow writers like Sana (whose craft makes me drool!) and from my teachers like you, Raju Tai! Thank YOU for being strongly instrumental in helping me connect to my senses - to my being, and not feel ashamed by it.
🤯 🤯 🤯 Sanobar, it’s befitting that I read this at fajr! You have voiced not just for me, but I am sure for many other Muslim women who are wrestling and making their way through this very universal (don’t mean to generalise but maybe it’s a more south Asian thing?!) problem… that of teaching us about our beautiful, beautiful faith through fear and not love, fear that is doused in patriarchy and actually robbing us of the joy of finding peace through submission which Islam literally means! There’s SO MUCH I want to say about this topic, but I’ll gather my thoughts, read and REREAD you so I can articulate it. But for now, I am just so excited and grateful that I am finding my way through it with so many newer resources (and brave writing like yours) that literally tackle, question and invite me to discovery of our faith via love and appreciation and not fear.
PS: the obstacle is the path, the mess is the way. One of the logical, practical religious teachers told me, If Allah wanted us to be perfect, He’d have designed us to be angels not human. Being flawed and forgetful comes with being human, questioning things and finding out answers through them is the only way we are meant to be!
Thank you, yet again, for writing your truth and lighting the way for others! Lots of love.
PPS: your craft is exponentially growing with each post. Your transition as a writer and a truth seeker is the thing that’s blowing my brain and making me jump with excitement! How wonderful and joyous and inspiring it is to witness it, my chilgoza! 🤗
Sana, I deliberately chose to come last to your comment. Some souls just draw you to them without sharing any previous experience, or any other relationship. You and your stories have that effect on me. I know you without ever knowing you...you know what I mean? And, I see myself in your stories, in your struggles, in your honesty, in your determination to find your ground and honour your truth - even though our trajectories have been so different. How does that happen?! lol
Writing on its own is an act of truth seeking. That's how its been for me at least.
Thank you so much for this gift: the obstacle is the path, the mess is the way. I've always wondered why can't people leave perfection and judgment to the Almighty?! Whoever gave them the authority to play God to us?!
Oh, and for you to praise my craft?! Woman! You will never know what that means to me!
Thank you, Sana. Big, tight hug!
Sanobar kya baat hai. Bahut unda and hard relate . Never understood the use of fear for praying. Will come back to it
I remember speaking about our kind of Muslim women, Farah when we met - jo na idhar ki hain na udhar ki. Take your time, no rush. I, myself had to take time to manage my emotions with the overwhelming flow of compassion and solidarity shown here. Then there's the 'artist's' fear of being seen lol So many contradictory emotions. Lets take our time. Thank you for being there, which I know you are <3
I realise after posting it, my comment is almost as long as your essay 🤣🤣🤣
Seriously, keep 'em coming!
This piece! <3 Resonates so hard. So, so glad you wrote this!
Awww this makes me smile! Finding a fellow on your writing journey is always lovely, right?
The best! :)
"Besides, is there any act more pleasant to the Almighty than sheer honesty?" - Truly! Despite the state of the world, I do sincerely hope we can all be allowed a space where we can be vulnerable and yet fully accepted, it's the most powerful place to be in. And writing is, and will hopefully continue to be that place for so many of us. Powerful, beautiful read - thank you so much for sharing!
“I do sincerely hope we can all be allowed a space where we can be vulnerable and yet fully accepted, it's the most powerful place to be in.” Amen, sis!
Thank you, Aradhana for stopping by and for showing love :)
This was a hard essay for me to read. The questions you had are similar to the ones I did. Yours brought you closer to your god, mine took me away from mine. I don't think most of the religious people I know understand religion. For most of them, it's blind adherence to rituals. To question is to sin.
Kudos to you for being able to articulate your stance without confrontation. It's something I have failed at.
I love your writing and look forward to each of your posts.
Oh Vinay. Thank you. Please know...I'm 44. I did not find spirituality without first turning away from my faith. So-called gatekeepers of religion tend to act like Gods themselves. It's sickening and repulsive tbh with you. Religion and faith are such private affairs. Such private journeys that individuals should take at their own pace. Thank you for expressing what you did. We're in this together!
Powerful writing to Reclaim your space and identity. This has triggered many thoughts, Sanobar. I will re-read this again to grasp the power that courses through it.
Thank you, Sanket. Like quite a few of my essays, this one was also written in a heightened state of emotion - usually a 'rock bottom' mode for me. I grew up believing one shouldn't 'react'/respond when being emotional. And yet, every piece I've written in an emotional state has resonated with other fellow writers at such deep levels! I keep wondering why do they tell us to not be emotional when everyone else needs it too :/ Thank you for showing solidarity ❤️
Such a powerful, beautiful, and profound essay! Thank you for writing this and sharing it here with us.
Thank you, Ila! It's always such a relief to have that reassuring feedback. You feel less awkward and more brave lol
Uff Sanobar, that was so powerful and I agree with so many things you say, that “ na idhar ka, na udhar ka”, you mentioned, that is kind of universal, I say it all the time too.
Thank you for being so brave and honest, it’s not easy❤️
Thank you, Supriya. It really isn't easy. My stomach churns everytime I get notified of a comment, worrying over what's in store for me lol so, every supportive remark/feedback helps! Thank you, women across faiths face the same issues in some form or the other :/
This is so beautifully penned, Sanobar. Thank you you for being you and for writing this with such powerful honesty💛
I'm smiling as I read your comment here :) Thank you, Sanskriti!
Sacred and spiritual. Full of inspiration and positivity. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Everytime I write something like this, I'm riddled with anxiety, with fear of rejection. So, thank YOU for the validation. Solidarity speaks volumes.
This feels like homecoming, I totally relate to every word you said. Every time I have asked someone if God is so vindictive that he will get back at you for not praying, I have been shut down with stares, verbal abuses and cold shoulders. I have learnt to keep my opinions to myself, opening up only when I am comfortable.
Thank you, Aditi, for saying that. I knew women across faiths continue to face similar resistance. Have you heard of the page: https://www.instagram.com/girlgodbooks/
It can get radical and, despite agreeing with many of their posts, I'm shy and nervous to like them and expose my agreement. I guess it gets radical because when you finally wake to years of generational suppression, your voice of protest will sometimes come out as a gentle sermon, but at many other times, it will come out violently like a roar.
Girl God Books challenges the idea of religion being 'male'. It's funny that even in monotheistic faiths, God is genderless, and yet, we shudder even addressing God as 'she'. Patriarchy has hijacked faiths too which is so reflective in the horrible state of worldly affairs we are witnessing now - children are being tortured, women have witnessed the suffering since Eve, our Mother Earth is revolting, animals are being made homeless....only to keep a bunch of juvenile male adults in 'power'.
Its' time we take control of our narrative, our kids, our Mother Earth. One story at a time. Sending you love and cheering you for your voice <3 Thank you for your solidarity!
There are so many pages with so much wonderful content that I am super afraid to like or comment on because of the atmosphere of fear all around. I am ashamed that I’m so scared but till I find the courage to be able to take a stand I just hold my views close to my heart, voicing them sparingly.
Oh Aditi. Sending you hugs. I can imagine. But, have heart. Resistance usually begins from within. One silent prayer at a time. This is our tribe. This is where we cheer our baby steps. Yours is the first such comment from someone of another faith openly expressing how they found my piece relatable. If that's not strength, then what is?! I posted this piece everywhere, except for FB where I've added the whole world. We do what works for us.
There are so many essays sprouting in my head just from reading the comment thread here lol
Please keep sharing everything you write, you’re writing helps me process a lot of things in my head