Sanobar, ever beautiful and making my heart sing again ❤️ thank you for this gem. No truer words
My latest attempt to take space is sharing one of my Substack essays with my mum-in-law. It's just a starter, and a baby step. i hope to share more from the heart with her, resorting to the written words when the spoken is not so easy. She who means so much to me, but still we both play our conditioned roles sometimes.
I take lots of borrowed courage from your essays and others on this platform. That's how i have been doing baby step claiming space 🤗❤️
Wow!!! Sharing essays with MIL has got to win it's own space on your Substack someday :))) What a transformation, Doel and how inspiring! May we sing again. May we sing together ❤️ Thank you for appreciating my feeble croaking ;)
You made me cry, big bad crying as i read " what happens to woman who fund,cook,serve and still stay as shadows at home" , because i ask this everyday to myself and people around me and I don't get any answer except that I should have been born as a man and now that I havent ,accept the role of shadow
Dearest Sudha...please don't miss the comments section here. You will find solidarity and, your tribe in them. Thank you for the heartfelt response. May be we never got our answers because we searched for them in others? May be it's time to look within :)) Let's not keep waiting. Let's grab that space :)
Your essay took me back to my childhood, watching my mother cook and serve her husband, her children, her father-in-law, her husband's brothers, their children and so on. As I grew older I always wondered why my father needed to be served. He could get up and get his own food. I never received an answer. But I didn't stop asking. This level of conditioning is so hard to identify when we are the victims of it and harder still to undo. Thank you for writing this and giving space to women to take up more space. Here are a few things I like to do :) wake up late in the morning, choose to not run the house (my husband manages the kitchen and meals. I chip in every once in a while), redefine gender roles within my little family of three, laugh without shame, assert without fear.
Samira! I thought of you as I mentioned talking about desire :)) I love waking up late too. And, we've progressed to my husband learning to make me my cup of coffee :p Thank you! Thank you for showing the way, girl!
Hahahahah! I'm laughing so loudly here - this level of syncing is too much! I liked your post last evening and saved it for reading today after I had finally posted what I'd been sitting on. I post and come to this ! What even is happening here -----! How are we aligning so gorgeously --- also yes -- interestingly i find that when the right folks take space -- space itself grows to accommodate more ! You is right folks
Roshni, after I jotted down some similarities to you, I went back to my piece and smiled throughout it all noting the many more similarities that I didn't even mention to you lol That's when I told you, you have to read mine to believe it ;) I'm telling you, shared wombs! ;)
Also, love love love how you said the space itself grows to accommodate more when the right folks start taking up space ❤️ just as we're experiencing now, together ❤️
Sanobar, I was nodding so hard as I read your essay. How can our experiences be so similar?! Just yesterday I decided to wear a dress, flaunting my unwaxed legs and today I read your essay mentioning the same. Every single line resonated with me. You helped me get the validation I needed. Let's do this! One step, one day, one space at a time! 💪
This piece resonated so well Sanobar. As an architect and educator, 'space' is often a point of discussion. Your writing has given it a new interpretation... Thanks for that :)
Sanobar, such a brilliantly bold and beautiful essay. How can words be so strong and so subtle all at once. I made it a point to read every comment on this post and my heart is soooo full. You write about the numerous times we apologise for nothing or maybe for merely existing. Can’t express how much I could relate to that. Here’s to hearing our own voices louder each day.
"How can words be so strong and so subtle all at once..." I keep wondering myself! Amazed at the resonance of this piece and the love that it keeps gathering. Thank you! Just goes to show how we connect through our shared experiences and how we don't need to hide ourselves in shame anymore!
And like so many of your other posts, this too resonated so much.
And the fresh ideas, making me feel aisa pehle kyun nahin socha. Khud apne liye choose karke flowers kyun nahin khareede. Draw karke silly hand made cards kabhi kyun nahin banaye. Thank you for showing the way.
Dearest Suruchi....Maine bhi pehle nahin Kiya tha. Humein nahin sikhaya gaya kyunki unko bhi nahin sikhaya gaya tha. We are so fortunate to have a second chance at life, to witness each other's journeys and be inspired. Let's do our best to ensure we don't let our learnings go to waste :) Abhi toh picture baaki hai mere dost ;)
A wise woman once told me, "Larki, mohabbat nahin faraghat ka mohtaj..." let's not wait to make time for ourselves. Let's snatch some time ;) thori si chori, thori si shararat is good for the soul :))
Ooooof, itna wholesome post, Sanobar! All my senses feel full. Especially witnessing you choose softness where I have mostly felt like jagged edges of a dagger, take up space, choose flowers, get published... I am inspired! Full "aise bhi kar sakte hain" vibes.
And about your voice - it's the sultriest, most polished, distinguished, soft, polite, yet firm voice I've ever heard. I don't know if I would have told you if you hadn't written about it.
Yaar, Nishi! I had to hide myself behind a cushion after reading your comment. I kept peeking from behind throughout the day lol but, remained in hiding. Honestly, I say this with all my heart - for me to receive a feedback of this kind, from an artist of your caliber is too much to handle lol I'm over the moon. Had to force myself to come out of hiding and own up to my piece - thank you so much, Nishi. I'm gonna take up my space and own this compliment from you :)))
I couldn't love this post more if I tried! Here's to being a fearless, space-taking, speaking-(y)our-mind, self-loving, art-making, singing and dancing, ancestor in the making, Sanobar. Much love!
I'm lying down in bed, just waking up from a nap two hours after I woke up this morning lol Woke up to this beautiful comment from you and now Im smiling ear to ear. Imagining you smiling too. May all the love and cheer multiply and return to you, writer friend 🧡
Well written! Reminded me of this: “Girls come to think of themselves as positioned in space rather than as defining or constituting the space around them by their movements.” - Iris Marion Young, Throwing Like a Girl
This made me feel like laughing a belly laugh and then lounging on my bed the rest of the day with a stack of books I will not read, enjoying the worried, questioning glances of the rest of the family. There is so much liberation of thought and deed in this essay!! ❤️❤️
Soaring too high for words right now after reading this essay. AAA Sanobar I'm grateful to share this Ochre Sky Universe (and the world) with you.
Ufff! Jitni duaein karein OSS k liye utni Kam hai! Hai na? :) likewise, sis! Likewise!
Sanobar, ever beautiful and making my heart sing again ❤️ thank you for this gem. No truer words
My latest attempt to take space is sharing one of my Substack essays with my mum-in-law. It's just a starter, and a baby step. i hope to share more from the heart with her, resorting to the written words when the spoken is not so easy. She who means so much to me, but still we both play our conditioned roles sometimes.
I take lots of borrowed courage from your essays and others on this platform. That's how i have been doing baby step claiming space 🤗❤️
Wow!!! Sharing essays with MIL has got to win it's own space on your Substack someday :))) What a transformation, Doel and how inspiring! May we sing again. May we sing together ❤️ Thank you for appreciating my feeble croaking ;)
thank you. for being you. for writing what you do. ♥️♥️♥️ you make me want to be a better person.
How much more "better" can you get, Raju Tai?! Maar hi daalogey! ;) P.S. - Thank you, but you know I'm learning from the best :*)
You made me cry, big bad crying as i read " what happens to woman who fund,cook,serve and still stay as shadows at home" , because i ask this everyday to myself and people around me and I don't get any answer except that I should have been born as a man and now that I havent ,accept the role of shadow
Dearest Sudha...please don't miss the comments section here. You will find solidarity and, your tribe in them. Thank you for the heartfelt response. May be we never got our answers because we searched for them in others? May be it's time to look within :)) Let's not keep waiting. Let's grab that space :)
This is so true. That we are looking for the answers at the wrong places to begin with. ❤️
Your essay took me back to my childhood, watching my mother cook and serve her husband, her children, her father-in-law, her husband's brothers, their children and so on. As I grew older I always wondered why my father needed to be served. He could get up and get his own food. I never received an answer. But I didn't stop asking. This level of conditioning is so hard to identify when we are the victims of it and harder still to undo. Thank you for writing this and giving space to women to take up more space. Here are a few things I like to do :) wake up late in the morning, choose to not run the house (my husband manages the kitchen and meals. I chip in every once in a while), redefine gender roles within my little family of three, laugh without shame, assert without fear.
Samira! I thought of you as I mentioned talking about desire :)) I love waking up late too. And, we've progressed to my husband learning to make me my cup of coffee :p Thank you! Thank you for showing the way, girl!
Hahahahah! I'm laughing so loudly here - this level of syncing is too much! I liked your post last evening and saved it for reading today after I had finally posted what I'd been sitting on. I post and come to this ! What even is happening here -----! How are we aligning so gorgeously --- also yes -- interestingly i find that when the right folks take space -- space itself grows to accommodate more ! You is right folks
Roshni, after I jotted down some similarities to you, I went back to my piece and smiled throughout it all noting the many more similarities that I didn't even mention to you lol That's when I told you, you have to read mine to believe it ;) I'm telling you, shared wombs! ;)
Also, love love love how you said the space itself grows to accommodate more when the right folks start taking up space ❤️ just as we're experiencing now, together ❤️
What a beautiful thought! And so true. That the space itself expands.
Sanobar, I was nodding so hard as I read your essay. How can our experiences be so similar?! Just yesterday I decided to wear a dress, flaunting my unwaxed legs and today I read your essay mentioning the same. Every single line resonated with me. You helped me get the validation I needed. Let's do this! One step, one day, one space at a time! 💪
So freakish, nahin?! I'm telling you, there are no coincidences! :) Thank you, Parul. Let's keep validating eachother till we don't need it anymore :)
Yes please let’s take up space, Sanobar!
Thank YOU for showing me how, Natasha!
This piece resonated so well Sanobar. As an architect and educator, 'space' is often a point of discussion. Your writing has given it a new interpretation... Thanks for that :)
Wow! You've raised a unique perspective yourself, Minaz! Thank you for reading and for sharing your comment :)
Sanobar, such a brilliantly bold and beautiful essay. How can words be so strong and so subtle all at once. I made it a point to read every comment on this post and my heart is soooo full. You write about the numerous times we apologise for nothing or maybe for merely existing. Can’t express how much I could relate to that. Here’s to hearing our own voices louder each day.
Dear Subhasree
"How can words be so strong and so subtle all at once..." I keep wondering myself! Amazed at the resonance of this piece and the love that it keeps gathering. Thank you! Just goes to show how we connect through our shared experiences and how we don't need to hide ourselves in shame anymore!
Such a beautiful essay, Sanobar.
Feel such warmth and lightness.
And like so many of your other posts, this too resonated so much.
And the fresh ideas, making me feel aisa pehle kyun nahin socha. Khud apne liye choose karke flowers kyun nahin khareede. Draw karke silly hand made cards kabhi kyun nahin banaye. Thank you for showing the way.
Lots of love! Keep inspiring!!
Dearest Suruchi....Maine bhi pehle nahin Kiya tha. Humein nahin sikhaya gaya kyunki unko bhi nahin sikhaya gaya tha. We are so fortunate to have a second chance at life, to witness each other's journeys and be inspired. Let's do our best to ensure we don't let our learnings go to waste :) Abhi toh picture baaki hai mere dost ;)
A wise woman once told me, "Larki, mohabbat nahin faraghat ka mohtaj..." let's not wait to make time for ourselves. Let's snatch some time ;) thori si chori, thori si shararat is good for the soul :))
Such pearls!
Let me wear them now.
And it is comments like your's that encourage me to be me, Suruchi. Thank YOU!
Ooooof, itna wholesome post, Sanobar! All my senses feel full. Especially witnessing you choose softness where I have mostly felt like jagged edges of a dagger, take up space, choose flowers, get published... I am inspired! Full "aise bhi kar sakte hain" vibes.
And about your voice - it's the sultriest, most polished, distinguished, soft, polite, yet firm voice I've ever heard. I don't know if I would have told you if you hadn't written about it.
PS: I'd have definitely told you sometime soon :D
Yaar, Nishi! I had to hide myself behind a cushion after reading your comment. I kept peeking from behind throughout the day lol but, remained in hiding. Honestly, I say this with all my heart - for me to receive a feedback of this kind, from an artist of your caliber is too much to handle lol I'm over the moon. Had to force myself to come out of hiding and own up to my piece - thank you so much, Nishi. I'm gonna take up my space and own this compliment from you :)))
🤗🤗
Cannot tell you how good it felt reading this and being so understood. Let’s take up more space!
Thank you so much Emma! Glad our writing is helping us grab that space for us :)
I couldn't love this post more if I tried! Here's to being a fearless, space-taking, speaking-(y)our-mind, self-loving, art-making, singing and dancing, ancestor in the making, Sanobar. Much love!
I'm lying down in bed, just waking up from a nap two hours after I woke up this morning lol Woke up to this beautiful comment from you and now Im smiling ear to ear. Imagining you smiling too. May all the love and cheer multiply and return to you, writer friend 🧡
Well written! Reminded me of this: “Girls come to think of themselves as positioned in space rather than as defining or constituting the space around them by their movements.” - Iris Marion Young, Throwing Like a Girl
Thank you and that quote is on point!
This made me feel like laughing a belly laugh and then lounging on my bed the rest of the day with a stack of books I will not read, enjoying the worried, questioning glances of the rest of the family. There is so much liberation of thought and deed in this essay!! ❤️❤️
Thank you, Alaknanda! Like a fellow writer reminded me once: Rest is Revolution ;)
Ha ha haaa mission accomplished! There's so much sukoon in what you said. Can't imagine actually doing it and relishing those worried looks lol