This may the most important essay you have written so far. Presenting your truth with such extraordinary lucidity, that every reader will find their story reflected in it ❤️🌻
Thank you for showing me the way, Natasha. Thank you for holding my hand from so far away! For nudging me to just try. To just show up. To "Come without a mask. Feel free to cry."
This is truly inspiring. As Natasha comments ' truth bombs, one after the other'. Truth bombs that we can all relate to but more importantly, YOUR truth. I recently read that the path to a healthy relationship with our personal mental state is self awareness. The ability to understand who you truly are, shadows and all, is the key to accepting oneself and living in peace. Enlightenment (Samadhi) may feel a long way off for many of us, (perhaps in the next lifetime lol), but peace of mind comes from pure acceptance of our truth. When the throat chakra is finally unblocked in a healthy way we speak OUR personal truth, not the words of others. Also, when the subconscious mind finally runs new neural pathways, we say goodbye to the old narratives as they don't fit us anymore. It's a challenging time of life but it's also AMAZING. You, my dear friend are on the road less travelled and you are helping others to come join you on your journey of awakening through writing. You are wonderful and there is NOTHING wrong with the woman, mother and inspiration you are xx
Uff this felt almost autobiographical! I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD too, among other things. And while I do think these are real conditions with real symptoms and real "chemical locha" in the brain behind them - I 100% agree with you that as women our mental health suffers more because of society's bullshit than our inherent mental health. In a just world, far less women would be anxious and depressed than the reality of our Universe. Women even suffer more in terms of physical health - chronic pain and autoimmune diseases are almost women's monopoly - because of the stresses of being oppressed on a daily, hourly basis.
Ignorance of all this, truly, might be bliss.
More power to us, though, for calling it as we see it. Hopefully it'll build a better world - if not for us then our kids ❤️
"In a just world, far less women would be anxious and depressed..." More power to us, Mahima! Your comment took me back to your essay on mental load women carry. Let's take control of our narratives :)) Thank you so much for showing support. I love what ADHD does to your writing...keep creating that wonderful, maddening art you create!
Hard relate on all those you mentioned. When I had a break down in 2022 and saw a GP, first thing I asked her was if it is related to menopause. I was just 34. Then a lot of therapy, medication happened and finally went for my Autism diagnosis. Even though I have known this for almost a year at that point of time, I did not think it would change anything. Even my therapist thought so. But it was the best thing I ever did it for myself. The assessor saw every bit of my struggle and I cried reading her assessment report. It also made me a lot more compassionate towards myself. I let myself fall apart and I am still picking up the pieces. Love and hugs to you! ♥️
I've just learned from my wise teacher that neurodiversity encourages us to accept ourselves. It's only hard because we're forced to fit in a rigid, colourless system when we were always meant to stand out :)) The world around us, our society, our culture & traditions - all need to evolve. The agony and conflict we've endured for ages is unbelievable!
Pick up your pieces for they were always your pixie dust! Thank you so much for the love and hugs. I needed them, and I want to send lots back to you too! <3
Sanobar folding my hands for this piece. You speak for all of us and how eloquently you traverse the doubt, the vulnerability and then point how self realization is our most important asset as we age. Our ability to see the truth. I think all of us feel the same way, your words here resonate and inspire.
“Or, could this also be a midlife awakening and a time to stand by your truth?” It is an awakening Sanobar. Give it a few years and you’ll see for yourself.
Arey? Its like Natasha says na - we're all more alike than we're made to feel :)) I'm rooting for you to stand for yourself, Supriya, and thank you for cheering me as well! I'm grateful we have each other <3
Sanobar, thank you for writing this essay. You have given voice to so many women who experience the same things. We need this to come out. And we need to talk about it. I am with you in your exhaustion. And in your determination. Keep writing, please. There is a sacred purpose that your voice is fulfilling. To start with, it is setting us more and more free.
Parool, I feel dizzy just reading your comment. I'd read it when I was leaving the therapist's office for a follow-up session. Came back home to a visiting younger cousin who mentioned considering therapy too. We are breaking generational patterns for sure. Can you imagine having an honest discussion on topics like therapy with cousins only until few years ago?!
"I am with you in your exhaustion and determination." Received this with all my heart, Parool. Thank you so much! I needed it ❤️
Wow, Sanobar. That's a huge win. Being able to talk to cousins about mental health is a massive step forward for the whole family. And one that I can totally relate to. I'm in the middle of something similar and it is such a relief to know we are all healing. Yes, we are breaking generational patterns. It is happening. For real. More power to you!
Calm down woman...I tell myself as i try to find the words to the comment i want to write! This such a fantastic piece in everyway , the places it goes to , the questions it holds and the pace it takes ...bahut sahi ! ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Sanobar, cannot tell you how much this essay means to me. How much it inspires me, assures me, hugs me. Thank you, love. You are so loved for who you are finding yourself to be. I am in awe of this essay, and need to read it many more times to say anything about it. But about you I can say, in agreement with Natasha, this is the most important and true thing you have written, with such power and clarity. Sending love.
Your comment makes me speechless, Raju Tai. I'm too moved to say anything and a simple thank you, seems insufficient. I was awake for 19 hours when I was writing this. And hungry. I was so nervous craft wise, that my sleepy, fuzzy head may not be doing the writing "properly". But, I had no doubts about WHAT I was writing. And this confidence in telling MY story, has only come after learning to write with you and Natasha. I'm amazed at how the two of you have praised the clarity of the piece. The clarity that stood the fuzziness and sleepiness lol I guess my faith in my story shone through the essay :) I had my dinner at 2:30am and then slept at 3am. Just like I did after attempting our prompt on Body. Dil se wala thank you, teacher ❤️
Thank you, Sanobar. I needed to read this, dear friend. I am taking the liberty of addressing you as one, as so much of what you share resonates, deeply. And, reading about the shared experiences heal. Its good to know that one is not alone struggling with this 40s syndrome.
A couple of years ago, I decided to stand up and walk away from all the so-called lies and embrace my so-called truth. The journey has been nothing short of exhilarating but then a couple of years and you find yourself in the same impasse. The patterns repeat themselves, just the context changes and it makes me wonder if the call to finding one's truth needs more unpacking. (You move from a job which didn't speak to your truth to learning arts, music, painting and writing and all that always felt enchanting and you see the same self-doubt and fear raise its head like a serpent.)
I would really love to hear more stories on this journey to finding one's truth and what that has meant for you all. For now I am told that whatever path you chose one is expected to fall on one's face flat after some time and this would keep repeating till it really opens your heart. This is the only way to open one's heart....
OK, this! Yes, how far do we keep moving to find ourselves? Does the pain ever go away? "The patterns repeat, the context changes." Wow. I have no answers lol I doubt anyone does. But, I guess, sharing helps. Right? Knowing you're not alone, helps massively too. For long, women have had to hide their sufferings in the name of shame. At least we can now share that shame together and realise we shouldn't have ever had to bear that shame! "You show me your wounds, and I'll show you mine." :))
I couldn't agree more my dear. Your article is what made me go to sleep peacefully yesterday and wake up today to face this world, knowing that there is nothing wrong with me. It helps like nothing else does. Sending a big hug across 🤗
Wow Sanobar! I've waited for weeks to say what I wanted to say about this piece but I still don't think the love and the HELL YES can be encompassed well enough in words! Only many many feelings and the urge to send you and all of our tribe a big virtual hug! This is the best "Say your truth and seek them in others" essay for me. Courage has no choice but to follow! Watch out world: Sanobar is only getting started! Woot Woot!
My dearest Sana ♥️ Just like you, I find myself short of words to respond to a feedback like this. Funny you'd say 'Sanobar has just started' when many a times after writing something like this, I feel like it's the end of my world. I've said it all. There's nothing left to say. What if I die next?! Lol honestly! And then you come with a response like this that makes me want to smile and go to sleep in piece. What a lullaby of a comment this is :) AND, you are so right in spotting our tribe. I'm so glad we've found each other. There's togetherness in baring our truths ❤️ Thank you, dost. Dil se.
I’m in my late 50s and the awakening is the best thing about getting older. Make your inner voice your champion, not your harshest critic. Women, especially those in midlife, have been dismissed for too long. I think that is changing, slowly. My late mum was completely unfulfilled. I’m not going to let that happen to me. Great piece - thanks for sharing!
This is such a brilliant essay! The medicalized mental health juxtaposed with womanhood and awareness! Fabulously done and more power to you, my friend!
This essay also feels like a good example for writing one's way towards a clarity (of sorts).
Karthik, I actually told my therapist that I couldn't sleep with his meds, but writing this essay put me to sleep lol I'll share this essay with him too ;) Our medical system has a long way to go as well!
Truth bombs, one after the other, @Sanobar!
This may the most important essay you have written so far. Presenting your truth with such extraordinary lucidity, that every reader will find their story reflected in it ❤️🌻
Thank you for showing me the way, Natasha. Thank you for holding my hand from so far away! For nudging me to just try. To just show up. To "Come without a mask. Feel free to cry."
Hugs for Sanobar
This is truly inspiring. As Natasha comments ' truth bombs, one after the other'. Truth bombs that we can all relate to but more importantly, YOUR truth. I recently read that the path to a healthy relationship with our personal mental state is self awareness. The ability to understand who you truly are, shadows and all, is the key to accepting oneself and living in peace. Enlightenment (Samadhi) may feel a long way off for many of us, (perhaps in the next lifetime lol), but peace of mind comes from pure acceptance of our truth. When the throat chakra is finally unblocked in a healthy way we speak OUR personal truth, not the words of others. Also, when the subconscious mind finally runs new neural pathways, we say goodbye to the old narratives as they don't fit us anymore. It's a challenging time of life but it's also AMAZING. You, my dear friend are on the road less travelled and you are helping others to come join you on your journey of awakening through writing. You are wonderful and there is NOTHING wrong with the woman, mother and inspiration you are xx
Uff this felt almost autobiographical! I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD too, among other things. And while I do think these are real conditions with real symptoms and real "chemical locha" in the brain behind them - I 100% agree with you that as women our mental health suffers more because of society's bullshit than our inherent mental health. In a just world, far less women would be anxious and depressed than the reality of our Universe. Women even suffer more in terms of physical health - chronic pain and autoimmune diseases are almost women's monopoly - because of the stresses of being oppressed on a daily, hourly basis.
Ignorance of all this, truly, might be bliss.
More power to us, though, for calling it as we see it. Hopefully it'll build a better world - if not for us then our kids ❤️
"In a just world, far less women would be anxious and depressed..." More power to us, Mahima! Your comment took me back to your essay on mental load women carry. Let's take control of our narratives :)) Thank you so much for showing support. I love what ADHD does to your writing...keep creating that wonderful, maddening art you create!
Hard relate on all those you mentioned. When I had a break down in 2022 and saw a GP, first thing I asked her was if it is related to menopause. I was just 34. Then a lot of therapy, medication happened and finally went for my Autism diagnosis. Even though I have known this for almost a year at that point of time, I did not think it would change anything. Even my therapist thought so. But it was the best thing I ever did it for myself. The assessor saw every bit of my struggle and I cried reading her assessment report. It also made me a lot more compassionate towards myself. I let myself fall apart and I am still picking up the pieces. Love and hugs to you! ♥️
I've just learned from my wise teacher that neurodiversity encourages us to accept ourselves. It's only hard because we're forced to fit in a rigid, colourless system when we were always meant to stand out :)) The world around us, our society, our culture & traditions - all need to evolve. The agony and conflict we've endured for ages is unbelievable!
Pick up your pieces for they were always your pixie dust! Thank you so much for the love and hugs. I needed them, and I want to send lots back to you too! <3
Sanobar folding my hands for this piece. You speak for all of us and how eloquently you traverse the doubt, the vulnerability and then point how self realization is our most important asset as we age. Our ability to see the truth. I think all of us feel the same way, your words here resonate and inspire.
Thank you so much, Shalini! Telling someone they're not alone is in itself so helpful! We aren't alone <3
“Or, could this also be a midlife awakening and a time to stand by your truth?” It is an awakening Sanobar. Give it a few years and you’ll see for yourself.
So glad and reassuring to hear that! Thank you, Mitu <3
“The stronger your self-realization gets, the lower your threshold for nonsense becomes”.
Oh Sanobar, your essay has come exactly, exactly at a time when I have been feeling exactly all that you described. How do you do that? Thank you!
Arey? Its like Natasha says na - we're all more alike than we're made to feel :)) I'm rooting for you to stand for yourself, Supriya, and thank you for cheering me as well! I'm grateful we have each other <3
Sanobar, thank you for writing this essay. You have given voice to so many women who experience the same things. We need this to come out. And we need to talk about it. I am with you in your exhaustion. And in your determination. Keep writing, please. There is a sacred purpose that your voice is fulfilling. To start with, it is setting us more and more free.
Parool, I feel dizzy just reading your comment. I'd read it when I was leaving the therapist's office for a follow-up session. Came back home to a visiting younger cousin who mentioned considering therapy too. We are breaking generational patterns for sure. Can you imagine having an honest discussion on topics like therapy with cousins only until few years ago?!
"I am with you in your exhaustion and determination." Received this with all my heart, Parool. Thank you so much! I needed it ❤️
Wow, Sanobar. That's a huge win. Being able to talk to cousins about mental health is a massive step forward for the whole family. And one that I can totally relate to. I'm in the middle of something similar and it is such a relief to know we are all healing. Yes, we are breaking generational patterns. It is happening. For real. More power to you!
Hai na?! Thinking of you, Parool and sending positive vibes and hugs your way!
Calm down woman...I tell myself as i try to find the words to the comment i want to write! This such a fantastic piece in everyway , the places it goes to , the questions it holds and the pace it takes ...bahut sahi ! ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Roshni, I'm gonna believe you, as I keep doubting myself! Thank you so much, yaara <3
Behen you better ! I'm barely on substack -- I came to read this and was floored
Sanobar , to be able to pour your heart and mind out so eloquently . Thankyou for giving so many of us an ear and a voice . Do not calm down, woman !
"Do not calm down!" Bas ab yahi yaad rakhna hai, Anusha! Thank YOU!
Sanobar, cannot tell you how much this essay means to me. How much it inspires me, assures me, hugs me. Thank you, love. You are so loved for who you are finding yourself to be. I am in awe of this essay, and need to read it many more times to say anything about it. But about you I can say, in agreement with Natasha, this is the most important and true thing you have written, with such power and clarity. Sending love.
Your comment makes me speechless, Raju Tai. I'm too moved to say anything and a simple thank you, seems insufficient. I was awake for 19 hours when I was writing this. And hungry. I was so nervous craft wise, that my sleepy, fuzzy head may not be doing the writing "properly". But, I had no doubts about WHAT I was writing. And this confidence in telling MY story, has only come after learning to write with you and Natasha. I'm amazed at how the two of you have praised the clarity of the piece. The clarity that stood the fuzziness and sleepiness lol I guess my faith in my story shone through the essay :) I had my dinner at 2:30am and then slept at 3am. Just like I did after attempting our prompt on Body. Dil se wala thank you, teacher ❤️
Thank you, Sanobar. I needed to read this, dear friend. I am taking the liberty of addressing you as one, as so much of what you share resonates, deeply. And, reading about the shared experiences heal. Its good to know that one is not alone struggling with this 40s syndrome.
A couple of years ago, I decided to stand up and walk away from all the so-called lies and embrace my so-called truth. The journey has been nothing short of exhilarating but then a couple of years and you find yourself in the same impasse. The patterns repeat themselves, just the context changes and it makes me wonder if the call to finding one's truth needs more unpacking. (You move from a job which didn't speak to your truth to learning arts, music, painting and writing and all that always felt enchanting and you see the same self-doubt and fear raise its head like a serpent.)
I would really love to hear more stories on this journey to finding one's truth and what that has meant for you all. For now I am told that whatever path you chose one is expected to fall on one's face flat after some time and this would keep repeating till it really opens your heart. This is the only way to open one's heart....
Much love, Amrita
OK, this! Yes, how far do we keep moving to find ourselves? Does the pain ever go away? "The patterns repeat, the context changes." Wow. I have no answers lol I doubt anyone does. But, I guess, sharing helps. Right? Knowing you're not alone, helps massively too. For long, women have had to hide their sufferings in the name of shame. At least we can now share that shame together and realise we shouldn't have ever had to bear that shame! "You show me your wounds, and I'll show you mine." :))
I couldn't agree more my dear. Your article is what made me go to sleep peacefully yesterday and wake up today to face this world, knowing that there is nothing wrong with me. It helps like nothing else does. Sending a big hug across 🤗
This. So much this! I feel seen in your words, Sanobar. Thank you.
The feeling that you're not alone...Thank YOU for the reassurance, Prerna!
Wow Sanobar! I've waited for weeks to say what I wanted to say about this piece but I still don't think the love and the HELL YES can be encompassed well enough in words! Only many many feelings and the urge to send you and all of our tribe a big virtual hug! This is the best "Say your truth and seek them in others" essay for me. Courage has no choice but to follow! Watch out world: Sanobar is only getting started! Woot Woot!
My dearest Sana ♥️ Just like you, I find myself short of words to respond to a feedback like this. Funny you'd say 'Sanobar has just started' when many a times after writing something like this, I feel like it's the end of my world. I've said it all. There's nothing left to say. What if I die next?! Lol honestly! And then you come with a response like this that makes me want to smile and go to sleep in piece. What a lullaby of a comment this is :) AND, you are so right in spotting our tribe. I'm so glad we've found each other. There's togetherness in baring our truths ❤️ Thank you, dost. Dil se.
I’m in my late 50s and the awakening is the best thing about getting older. Make your inner voice your champion, not your harshest critic. Women, especially those in midlife, have been dismissed for too long. I think that is changing, slowly. My late mum was completely unfulfilled. I’m not going to let that happen to me. Great piece - thanks for sharing!
Oooof! There's so much power in those words: I'm not going to let that happen to me.
And, so much love and assurance in: Make your inner voice your champion.
Thank you, Nicola, for the affirmation. I hear you!
This is such a brilliant essay! The medicalized mental health juxtaposed with womanhood and awareness! Fabulously done and more power to you, my friend!
This essay also feels like a good example for writing one's way towards a clarity (of sorts).
Karthik, I actually told my therapist that I couldn't sleep with his meds, but writing this essay put me to sleep lol I'll share this essay with him too ;) Our medical system has a long way to go as well!