Writing & Nirvana

Whenever I feel things deeply, I tend to gravitate towards writing. When emotions become unbearable, when it feels too heavy to keep it in, I write. The highs and the lows. Exploring the relationship between my writing and my body, this is what I’ve noticed I experience:

Roughly speaking, every time a feeling tugs at me strongly, a sensation rises between my sacrum and my uterus.

It's a strong sexual-like energy. The intensity and the heat are palpable.

Feeling restless, my mouth feels dry as I gulp in nervousness.

Raging like wildfire, the urge then rises to my gut. There's a whirlwind-like dance that takes place here.

Imagine an automatic washing machine on a rinse and spin mode – at full speed.

A violent storm brews in my belly.

Then, like forceful reflux, the sensation projects through my voice, bleeding into an essay. Climax.

It strongly resembles how one feels just before a vomit.

Or, giving birth to a baby.

Or, making mad passionate love.

They say we pass generational trauma through our wombs. That must be it. The epicenter of my emotions that gives birth to that pull, that urge. The womb that houses all those sensations.

‘What do we carry in our womb?’, I wonder.

Unrealized dreams, shattered hopes, love, despair, hurt, anger, bitterness, hopelessness, longing, the relentless hunger for life?

That’s a lot to carry. That too, from generation to generation.

Once I’m done writing though, the cleansing that follows is mind-blowing! That release that my body feels is unfuckingbelievable!

Levitating, I become one with my cosmic reality.

It’s probably the closest one gets to tasting liberation.

I then go on with the world like it’s business as usual. 

Note: I had first written ‘Writing & Nirvana’ in an out-of-the-world workshop by

Natasha Badhwar

&

raju tai

. March 03rd was International Writer’s Day. Like most times, I’m late, but I did not want to miss honoring the importance of writing in my life, and, towards improving my mental well-being. Have you noticed the connection between your writing & your body?