Hey, little one!
I know you’re scared but, I’m here to tell you: It will all be okay
You’re okay. You’re more than okay
You will be loved. You will be desired
You will inspire and be inspired
You will break the cycle, your children will be thankful
But, not at first. And, not so easily
Not without drowning in trauma and deceit. Deceit, especially from those you trusted
Motherhood won’t come easy to you, despite craving to be a mother since you were eight
It will shake you. Break you
Motherhood will be triggering
It will feel suffocating and painful, evoking long-forgotten memories
Be ready to be hurt. A lot
Love won’t come easy either
You will feel lonely amongst those you love with all your heart
But, choose love anyway - you will be oblivious to other ways
Go for that first love. And, for that twenty-first one too
Do not be afraid of the darkness. That’s where your energy resides
Ignore the naysayers. They don’t know any better. Some people choose to remain unhappy
You will learn to choose you
Do more of what you like
Keep the female tribe close. They will tell you otherwise
Your sisterhood will help define you and push you out of your slumber
You will be scared. But that’s okay. Everyone’s scared. They just won't tell you
Everyone’s been conditioned to lie
Tell your children you’re clueless and that you’re terrified. Your mother was too. She just wasn’t as privileged to say so
Forgiveness will come. Closure may not. But you will learn to accept that too
There will come a time when you will be lost
You will struggle to recognize your own Self
Your heart will pine and ache. You will make costly mistakes
You will lose your dignity and yearn for redemption
You will then shed your skin, layer by layer, lie after lie, tearing down the façade, rising like a phoenix
You will rage, unstoppable with age
It won’t be pretty. The brutal unraveling will be scarring
You will learn to speak again. A new language. A new voice
You will speak for your mother. For your daughter. For sisterhood
You will be seen. You will be heard. You will find your tribe
Sweetheart, you look good from up here.
Hang in there!
Note: This was written in response to a prompt by the Ochre Sky Stories - writing workshops hosted by the magicians
andI love this piece and thought it best to post it in my birthday month!
PS- excuse the audio quality. Recording on Substack wasn't smooth :/
This is so beautiful. Felt like you spoke to me directly, to my soul. Thank you for being born in this month because only then would I have been able to hear/ read it today, when I needed it the most. Happy birthday to you!
Beautiful, Sanobar! And your voice…. It elevated the whole experience. Never stop writing.